TO: ALL EMPLOYEES
SUBJECT: SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING
In light of the increase in competitor activity and to assure highest
levels of quality work and productivity from employees, it will be our
policy to keep all employees well trained through our program of SPECIAL
HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (S.H.I.T.)
We are trying to give employees more S.H.I.T. than anyone else. If
you feel that you do not receive your share of S.H.I.T. on the job, please
see your manager.
You will be placed on the top of the S.H.I.T. list and managers are
especially skilled at seeing that you get all the S.H.I.T. that you
can handle. Employees who don’t take S.H.I.T. will be placed in
DEPARTMENTAL EMPLOYEE EVALUATION PROGRAMS (D.E.E.P. S.H.I.T.).
Those who fail to take D.E.E.P. S.H.I.T. seriously will have to go to
EMPLOYEE ATTITUDE TRAINING (E.A.T. S.H.I.T.).
Since our managers took S.H.I.T. before they were promoted, they don’t
have to take S.H.I.T. again. If you are already full of S.H.I.T.
you may be interested in training others. We can add your name
to our BASIC UNDERSTANDING LECTURE LIST (B.U.L.L. S.H.I.T.).
Those who are full of B.U.L.L. S.H.I.T. will get the S.H.I.T. jobs,
and can apply for promotion to DIRECTOR OF INTENSITY PROGRAMMING
If you have any further questions, please direct them to our
HEAD OF TRAINING, SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (H.O.T. S.H.I.T.).
BOSS IN GENERAL
SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (B.I.G. S.H.I.T.)