TO: ALL EMPLOYEES

FROM: MANAGEMENT

SUBJECT: SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING

In light of the increase in competitor activity and to assure highest

levels of quality work and productivity from employees, it will be our

policy to keep all employees well trained through our program of SPECIAL

HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (S.H.I.T.)

We are trying to give employees more S.H.I.T. than anyone else. If

you feel that you do not receive your share of S.H.I.T. on the job, please

see your manager.

You will be placed on the top of the S.H.I.T. list and managers are

especially skilled at seeing that you get all the S.H.I.T. that you

can handle. Employees who don’t take S.H.I.T. will be placed in

DEPARTMENTAL EMPLOYEE EVALUATION PROGRAMS (D.E.E.P. S.H.I.T.).

Those who fail to take D.E.E.P. S.H.I.T. seriously will have to go to

EMPLOYEE ATTITUDE TRAINING (E.A.T. S.H.I.T.).

Since our managers took S.H.I.T. before they were promoted, they don’t

have to take S.H.I.T. again. If you are already full of S.H.I.T.

you may be interested in training others. We can add your name

to our BASIC UNDERSTANDING LECTURE LIST (B.U.L.L. S.H.I.T.).

Those who are full of B.U.L.L. S.H.I.T. will get the S.H.I.T. jobs,

and can apply for promotion to DIRECTOR OF INTENSITY PROGRAMMING

(D.I.P. S.H.I.T.).

If you have any further questions, please direct them to our

HEAD OF TRAINING, SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (H.O.T. S.H.I.T.).

Thank You,

BOSS IN GENERAL

SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (B.I.G. S.H.I.T.)