Browsing articles from "4 月, 2006"
4 月
7
2006

[轉] 靴子 ^-^ 有點限制級, 不過粉好笑

男人記得只要買帽子,不用買靴子~真的!

有一對老夫妻:山姆與貝西,到拉斯維加斯渡假。
山姆一直很想要一雙真正的牛仔靴,
所以當他發現有一雙正在拍賣時,
他便毫不猶豫地買下來,馬上穿上它。
他很自豪地走回旅館去,一進房門他就對老婆說:
「你看我哪裡不一樣?」貝西看了看,說道:「沒有」
山姆很興奮地說:「別這樣,貝西,看仔細一點..注意到我身上哪裡不一樣嗎?」
貝西又看了看…..「沒有..」
山姆十分失望,他衝進浴室脫個精光,
只穿那雙靴子走出來,然後再問一次
「現在妳注意到什麼差別了嗎?」
這次嗓門有點兒大了。貝西抬起頭說道:
「有啥差別,山姆?它今天還是垂頭喪氣的,
 它昨天也是垂頭喪氣的,明天也還是垂頭喪氣的..」
 山姆大怒地吼道:「妳知道它為什麼下垂嗎,貝西?
 它垂下來是因為它正在欣賞我的新靴子!」

貝西抬起頭說道:「你應該買頂帽子的,山姆!…...你真該買頂帽子的!」

4 月
7
2006

丈夫專賣店

一家專賣丈夫的店在紐約全新開張,
女人們可以直接進入挑選一個心儀的配偶,
在店家入口有著一面告示牌告訴大家這家店如何經營:
一個人只能進入這家店一次!店裡共有六樓,
隨著高度的上升,男人們的性質也越高,
然而請注意,
妳能在任何一層樓選一個丈夫或者選擇繼續上樓,
但除了離開這家店以外妳無回到之前的樓層…

於是一個女人走入這家丈夫專賣店去尋找一個老公

一樓的門上貼著一張說明書:
第一層,這裡的男人們有工作。
女人看也不看的上了第二層樓

二樓的門上也貼著一張說明書:
第二層,這裡的男人們有工作而且熱愛小孩。
女人又上了三樓

三樓寫著:第三層,
這裡的男人們有工作而且熱愛小孩,並有著極度好看的外表。
哇!她嘆道,但仍勉強自己往上爬。

四樓:第四層,
這裡的男人有工作而且熱愛小孩,並有著令人窒息的好看外表,還會幫忙做家事。

喔!饒了我吧!
女人叫道:「我快站不住腳了!」接著她仍然爬上了五樓。

她唸著五樓的告示牌:
第五層,這裡的男人們有工作而且熱愛小孩,
並有著令人窒息的完美外表,
還會幫忙做家事,更有著強烈的浪漫情懷。

女人簡直想留在這一層樓,但仍抱著滿腹期待走像最後一樓。
第六樓出現了一面巨大的電子告示板,
上面打出一牌字說道:
妳是這層樓的第31456021位訪客,
這裡不存在任何男人,這層樓的存在只是為了證明女人有多麼不可能取悅。
謝謝您光臨丈夫專賣店~~

一家妻子專賣店在對街開張
第一層的女人喜歡做愛
第二層的女人喜歡做愛並且有錢
第三樓及以上至六樓的樓層從未有男人上去過…

4 月
6
2006

幽默可以改變情緒

一個小伙子剛考上駕照,於是,駕著父親的老爺車上路練身手!
一路尚為順利,可是就在一個路口等紅燈時,車子竟熄火了。

這年輕人剎時間嚇的慌了手腳!眼看就要轉綠燈了,可是這車子怎麼就是發不動,
一會兒!車後傳來陣陣 喇叭聲響
,這年輕人滿大汗很努力想要把車發動,
但他後方車子卻很不耐煩的拼命按著喇叭,
不久,這位年輕人氣急敗壞下了車,並朝後方那輛車走過去!

別的人看了都以為一定會發生口角了!

但這位年輕人卻對車內的人說:

先生,這樣好不好?
我來幫你按喇叭,你去幫我發動車子,好嗎………..?
4 月
6
2006

Six Answers Interviewers Need to Hire You

Six Answers Interviewers Need to Hire You
by Peter Vogt
MonsterTRAK Career Coach

During the typical job interview, you’ll be asked a lot of questions. But do you really understand what the interviewer needs to know?

"Most students have no idea why a recruiter asks a particular question," says Brad Karsh, a former recruiting professional for advertising giant Leo Burnett and current president of career consulting firm Job Bound. "They tend to think it’s a competition to outwit the interviewer."

The reality is that employers have neither the time nor inclination to play games with you, especially when hiring. Your interviewer is not trying to outguess you — he’s trying to assess your answers to six key questions:

Do You Have the Skills to Do the Job?

According to Karsh, the employer must first determine whether you have the necessary hard skills for the position, e.g., the programming knowledge for a database administration job or the writing chops to be a newspaper reporter. "By really probing into what the candidate has done in the past, an interviewer can tap into hard skills."

But the interviewer is also looking for key soft skills you’ll need to succeed in the job and organization, such as the ability to work well on teams or "the requisite common sense to figure things out with some basic training," says Terese Corey Blanck, director of student development at internship company Student Experience and a partner in College to Career, a consulting firm.

Do You Fit?

"Every organization’s first thought is about fit and potentially fit in a certain department," Corey Blanck says. That means the interviewer is trying to pinpoint not only whether you match up well with both the company’s and department’s activities but also whether you’ll complement the talents of your potential coworkers.

Do You Understand the Company and Its Purpose?

If the organization fits well with your career aspirations, you’ll naturally be motivated to do good work there — and stay more than a month or two, Corey Blanck reasons. "I don’t want someone to take the position because it’s a job and it fits their skills. I want them to be excited about our mission and what we do."

How Do You Stack Up Against the Competition?

You’re being evaluated in relation to other candidates for the job. In other words, this test is graded on a curve. So the interviewer will constantly be comparing your performance with that of the other candidates’.

Do You Have the Right Mind-Set for the Job and Company?

"I’m always looking for someone who has a can-do type of attitude," Corey Blanck explains. "I want someone who wants to be challenged and is internally motivated to do well."

Corey Blanck points out that an employer can’t train for this essential trait. "But you can hire for it. And if you don’t, you’ll end up with a lower-performing employee."

Do You Want the Job?

Most employers know better than to believe everyone they interview actually wants the position being offered. They understand some candidates are exploring their options, while others are using an interview with a company they don’t care about to hone their interview skills.

So you have to prove you really want the job, says Al Pollard, senior college recruiter for Countrywide Financial. "I use the ditch-digger analogy: Many of us can dig ditches, but few are willing to — and even fewer want to."

4 月
5
2006

又地震了

我剛剛正在努力專心看 RSS 2.0 Spec 的時候
突然一陣搖晃,我一開始還以為是自己太累了
頭昏了,後來才警覺是地震
台灣最近已經發生過好幾次地震了
希望921的恐怖經驗不要再發生

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